Kids and Chores Vol. I
If you’re wondering why your kids aren’t helping around the house, the answer might be found in Mexico, according to an interesting study by NPR that was released in 2018. I just ran across it though, and you may have missed it too :)
Read the original article here.
The “too long; didn’t read” is shocking: the way we involve or rebuff toddlers shapes their feelings towards chores forever. Today’s overworked mom is struggling to raise kids; hold down a high-powered career; cultivate meaningful relationships with friends, coworkers, church members, and family members; and manage a household. When it’s chore time, the last thing you want to do is have a tiny adorable hurricane following you around.
The Stay Sane Mom blog offers a bit of relatable humor and a lot of free resources for young moms.
Researchers aren’t even sure why toddlers are so naturally helpful— in fact, another study mentioned in the article inexplicably found that rewarding a toddler for their help actually decreases the chances that they will help again. However, moms in the Yucatan harness this. They encourage their children to be involved in household chores as early as possible, whether its watching, learning, or trying it themselves. There is even a specific word for this kind of help: acomedido, a complex term that encompasses the idea of being able to anticipate someone else’s needs.
I can’t help but be reminded of my own childhood, in Grandma’s rainbow-splashed kitchen. She had one of those little crystal balls in her kitchen window that exploded into rainbows at breakfast-time every day. She would sit us on the counter, in the crook of the L-shape. We were so small that our chubby legs didn’t even reach the edge of the countertop. But there we were, cracking eggs, stirring mixes, and watching her work. As preschoolers, we were rinsing dishes. “I’ll wash, you rinse,” she’d say. We tell her that now, when we are home for holidays. Every morning, we would drag our Polly Pockets and Barbies and model horses all over the house, and every afternoon she would call us to clean up, and everything would go back mostly to where it belonged.
My twin sister, Sunny, and me in Grandma’s kitchen during breakfast
As I think about it, I don’t ask myself why this could have affected my relationship to housework. I ask myself why not? I remember that time spent with her fondly. I didn’t even think of it as chores. Here are some tips from Grandma:
Have kids help with tasks that are age appropriate and watch tasks that are not.
Toddler-proof tasks. Cracking eggs is easy and fun! You can toddler-proof the task by letting them crack the eggs into a separate bowl so you can fish any shells out with a fork before adding it to your mix.
Let them do things that don’t necessarily need to be done perfectly, but that do contribute to the goal: kids will know if you are giving them fake tasks. Worried your kid is going to miss a spot? Wipe down the dining table, then let them dry it. Any spots they miss will air dry.
Find chores that are safe. For example, rinsing and drying plastic dishes is less risky than glassware for clumsy toddler hands.
Get buy in. “Could you help me with this?” goes a lot farther than, “do that.” (this works with everyone)
Amber Starling, Author
Founder and President of
Good Witch Cleaning Services, LLC
IICRC Journeyman Textile Cleaner